Blog post

New Digs = New Perspective

I bought a cottage at Lac St Anne. I have been here for one week. I love it.

Moving is always stressful and busy but you know when a move is right. I have been so very relaxed since I got here that I don’t really know how to explain it.

At the moment I am sitting at my breakfast bar watching a family of geese float by on the lake. It is quiet except for the birds and the breeze in the poplars. WOW.

For the past couple of mornings I have been working on the new book on the deck. It is so great to have a place to do that and the energy and motivation to work. The work is somehow easier to get to and easier to do.

The history of Lac St Anne is also fascinating. St Anne is known as a healer and this lake attracts pilgrims from all over western and northern Canada to walk in the healing waters each year at this time.

As I write my book “Mapping the Space Between Us” I am reminded that a change in place can mean a change in perspective and I am encouraged to continue, to finally complete a manuscript that I have been working on for almost five years now.

Although I still have a place in St Albert, this place already feels like home. Please come and visit sometime.

Keep Moving – The secret to youthfulness

I attended a concert last night. Cyndi Lauper opened for Cher. Cyndi is 60 and still having fun and entertaining others. Cher is an icon. She looks Fabulous at 68. These ladies love what they do. Cyndi had a lot to say to the old folks who remembered the things she was talking about and to the young ones in the crowd she said “Look it up.” in her delightful Queens’ NY accent. It was a great evening.

What keeps them so youthful? I think it has a lot to do with attitude. They are very different people. If I were to observe for direction and orientation, and I did, I would identify Cher’s orientation as past. She talked about her past accomplishments and much of her show was spent reminiscing with video of her from the past. Rather than move toward the crowd, she moved away. I know that sounds strange but she didn’t engage that much. Between songs she disappeared to change costumes. She looked fabulous and reminded us that that was what she was there to do. Cher has always been a differentiator. She works at adding beauty to the world … her own. And there is a melancholy about her that she hides with costumes and fabulous acts on stage with her.

Cyndi on the other hand, is present oriented. Her album is remastered and rereleased to freshen it up. Although she talked briefly about the past, she responded to the audience in a very present kind of approach and she sang from her heart for us, songs we knew and songs we were less familiar with. She was sharing in the here and now. She knew where she was. She entered through the crowd wearing a red serge jacket and a tan hat as a tribute to the Mounties. She also did one or two songs in a Calgary Flames jersey. She moved TOWARD the audience. We could not escape her. She was in our faces and we all loved it. Cyndi is a take charge kind of girl who is going to make sure that girls and everyone else have fun.

In both cases the youthfulness comes from a strong sense of self and a willingness to keep moving, to keep doing what you did when you were young so that you can maintain that feeling. When it stops being fun I know they will stop. Cyndi does it because she can. She is doing musicals and taking shows on the road because she loves it. I think Cher does it for others … her fans … who adore her and remind her how fabulous she really is.

Thanks to both of you for crushing the ‘granny’ stereotype.

Six years of Blogging

I have been blogging now for six years. That is hard to believe. I do want to apologize for the inconsistent nature in the timing. Like most people I resolve to blog once a week but ….

I find the ideas come in waves and when I am riding one I can blog. When I am not it is better to keep my thoughts in a journal.

I have to admit that it has been a difficult 6 months for me. I lost my mum and I still have waves of sadness every day. And somehow I feel as if I have lost myself. I am relocating to St Albert on a more permanent bases and I have purchased a Lake Property near the shores of Lac St Anne. Here, further north, I am surrounded by close friends and family and I feel very grateful everyday to be a part of their lives. I missed a lot in the years I was away. Four years in Grande Cache and fifteen in Calgary is a long time. I did visit often but it is not the same as living here amongst them.

Establishing a routine when you have basically been a gypsy for so many years has its own challenges. I miss my Calgary people for sure and I do hope they understand my need to be here. The upheavals of moving again and losing a loved one AND turning 60 have taken their toll . What a year!
So who do I want to be when I grow up? That is a question I have been asking and answering for a lot of years. The answer is always author.

Here I go giving that one more try. Looking for a publisher and an agent. Two great books in the works. One is “Mapping the Space Between us” non fiction sociology based. The other is a novel set in 2025. It is a quest for meaning with a technological whimsy that can only happen in speculative fiction. It is entitled the Dylan Story. It will be the first in a series of “Love stories”. It is not really a love story. It is just a story written by Love.

Have a great day and thanks for your continued support these last six years.
Thoughts and comments always welcome…..

Listening to, for, with and on behalf of ….

Listening is a skill. You need to practice a skill if you hope to improve it. That was the premise behind the POWER listening webinar I delivered yesterday.

http://pulseinstitute.adobeconnect.com/p97u0vgopq7/ You can watch the unedited version by following the link.

Listening is so important as one of the main ways that we gather information from our world. We use all of our senses for sure. In listening though we seem to be part of all of the aspects. What I mean is that we are sender, medium and receiver. What we pay attention to while we are listening changes the other person’s story even when we are silent. they are watching for our responses and it will help them decide what to say next. When we receive a message we filter it through our own static. Quieting that static is a large part of the skill of listening deeply.

There are different ways to listening. You can listen to something. You can listen for something which is more deliberate and can be very effective in promoting good conversation. You can listen on behalf of someone else which is often what a mediator does as they help parties build understanding. You can also listen with others. Doing that is what I call deep listening. If you are with a group and listening together it is wonderful to share and hear their interpretation. Nothing demonstrates how we use our filters like a group listen.

In the webinar I talk about listening with HEART which is the more passive skill of giving others a space to speak into, one that is safe and caring. then I talk about POWER listening which is more about providing evidence of listening. i think both are necessary. If you listen politely and never provide evidence of what you hear the other person will not have the same sense of freedom from having been hear, acknowledged and understood.

Some days it is easier to listen than others. Distractions are everywhere in our world and they are the enemy of good listening. Listening intently and with purpose requires that we use our listening muscles to cut through the distraction and focus our attention on what is being said … and not said. Listening occurs with eyes and ears and body and it takes practice.

What kind of listening workout do you have planned today?

The Warrior Surrenders

When I was in high school I was a cheerleader. Our team was the warriors, the Western Warriors. When I took Andrew’s advice and read The War of Art, which I highly recommend by the way, I heard again the language of the warrior. We, as artists, are at war with something that Pressfield calls Resistance. It is that urge to do something else that comes from self doubt and takes the form of distractions. It is a powerful force willing us NOT to do what we must do as artists … create. It is a war against ourselves, our ego. The ego seeks immediate gratification and attention. Pulling ourselves back to the work is a tug of war.

At the same time I am reading “The Places that Scare You”. It is written by a Buddhist Nun in Nova Scotia. Pema Chodron also writes about the warrior overcoming the ego and attachment. The six activities of the warrior she lists as generousity, discipline, patience, joyful enthusiasm, meditation and an open inquiring mind free of judgement and attachment. The path to inner peace is to be active in these ways.

I just want to write, to become a pro. Pressfield talks about becoming a pro. He describes it as accepting the art as a profession, something that you work at daily, something you are dedicated to and proud of like you would be at any job. It is also something you work at mastering. That has helped me. I am a writing warrior a Western Warrior from my alma mater.
So is a professional warrior a mercenary? It does make sense. I want to be paid for my warrior activities and part of the resistance I feel comes from that notion. The self doubt is debilitating. The apparent lack of humility as we press our words to the paper leads us to skirmishes on the battlefields of our minds, bodies and souls. The apparent arrogance that is required to create clashes with the activities of the warrior to overcome such arrogance. And so we struggle.

Pema talks about the three kinds of lazy that I now recognize as resistance a la Pressfield. Comfort orientation is the first kind of lazy. Guilty! I seek comfort. I sometimes demand it and it does take away from my working on my projects. Loss of heart is the second kind. I have these sudden waves of hopelessness that put me in my chair in front of the TV. I watch for hours wondering why and helpless to get up and do something else. “Couldn’t care less” is the third kind of laziness and that one can lead to clinical depression. It is beyond the loss of heart to the loss of self. You can lose time to resistance or you can lose yourself. And so we struggle.

This struggle, this internal waging of war is tiring me out. I am done. Surrender is on the horizon. Surrender to what? To Buddha? To the Muses as described by Pressfield? Where do I go to surrender so this war with myself can be over? I surrender to the need to finish these books. I surrender to the need to put the books first for a while to treat them as a part of the career I love and that others value. I surrender to the work. I surrender to the art.

I Write Everyday. Why can’t I finish a book???

So what shows up in my life lately are movies and invitations about story telling and writing. I am always fascinated about how what we focus on appears. I believe it is likely always there but we don’t necessarily see it until our attention is drawn by some inner need to complete something.

This weekend I watched a movie called Sunshine and Shadows. It is set in England and Tuscany. It is about a publisher who is also a fledgling writer who is assigned to find a writer who hasn’t written a book in more than 20 years and convince his to write again. I loved the story. It was funny and compassionate and well written. I also am a fan of Tuscany and the people there. the other movie I watched this weekend was Under the Tuscan Sun. I had seen that one before and just needed to watch a good story with a happy ending again to bolster my faith in humanity.

The line from the Sunshine and Shadows movie that has stayed with me is “Writing is hard work.” Why that is news to me I can’t really figure out. I know that writing is hard work. I also know that GETTING TO THE WRITING is harder for me. The two books that are in my head are heavy. I feel as if I am nine and a half months pregnant with twins. I can block time and set deadlines until the cows come home but it doesn’t really move the book along. I need help.

Suggestions???

Thought for today …

http://youtu.be/XvhAsJPXj1M

Alberta and Cowboys

Today I drove from Edmonton to Canmore. That’s nothing new. I do it all the time . Today was different. It was a bright , crisp blue sky and the snow covered mountains were calling so I turned off Highway 2 and drove to Rocky Mountain House so that I could wander back through the foothills to Cochrane and take 1A into Canmore.

If you have ever done that drive you know the vistas are beyond spectacular. The Rockies are majestic and today you can see Mount Lougheed from Sundre. The road is mostly straight through the rolling hills and the small towns are so typically small town-ish. I saw one sign that offered hand crafted gun racks and sewing alterations in the same facility. It was a great day for a drive.

I was on what is known as the Cowboy Trail. I love cowboys and the idea of cowboys. The quiet confidence and humility that comes from working with animals on the land tells me that they learn something out there. There is a rugged individualism with a sense of down home manners and sensitivity that is likely a stereo type. It could also be a myth. Who cares. This is fantasy. What is for sure is that there is a mystique in those mountains, on those ranches and in those fields that you can’t really find anywhere else.

Today I was reminded of a question I was once asked by a teacher from Hong Kong. We were at a teachers of gifted children conference ( Not to be confused with a Gifted Teachers Conference) when the subject of attraction to the opposite sex came up. I walked into a conversation and was asked rather suddenly. “What kind of man do you find sexy?” I was a little taken aback because I hadn’t really thought about it but there it was just falling out of my mouth….”There is just SOMETHING about a cowboy…” I smiled in reply. The debate raged. Suits were sexier. Doctors in Lab coats. Fighter pilots. Sailors on the high seas. Oilmen. Academics. Everyone had an answer that worked for them. It was another example of the individual nature of humans in cultures.

Not sure why that conversation stayed with me but there was a raw emotion attached to it that has lingered. Driving through the beautiful Alberta Foothills today with the Rockies shining in the background, I thought of cowboys today and it made me smile. It always does.

Number 301 and Your Personal Legend

This is my 301st post. It is hard to believe that I have been finding things to share with you over the years and it has added up to this. A lot has happened since I began in May of 2008. Six years of seasons and changes have brought PULSE back to where it was then. PULSE is finding water and moving to form new rivers and streams of interest and income. I am enjoying the monthly webinars and working with new clients and I am hopeful and grateful at the same time.

And as for me, I have changed too. Older can be wiser. It can also be more experienced. Sometimes I do feel that I am repeating lessons from the past. Life is like that. If you don’t learn the lesson then you get to have the experience again. For some reason we don’t see it coming. The route is familiar so we continue until … bang … there it is the same old road block we hit once before. If we are lucky we find the way around over or under, around or through this road block with resignation that the journey is ours to travel and no road block can stop us.

I recently read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It is a fable about a boy who finds his treasure where his journey began. the twists and turns are great and the lessons are clear. Many journeys have detours and we sometimes get lost and go in circles but in the end you have to follow your heart, listen to your heart and find your way to your personal treasure… to complete your own personal legend. Everything and every one has their own. Finding it requires listening … with both ears.

Part of my legend is to write. I love it. It feeds my soul. I am so happy to be able to continue to write my way to my personal treasure and circle back as the boy in the book did to where I began to write again and again until I get it WRITE.

Join me tomorrow at 10 MST for a free 40 minute webinar broadcast on the GHOST protocol. Here is the link http://pulseinstitute.adobeconnect.com/ghost/

Learn a simple five piece puzzle for getting conversations right.

Back to Work

I have been writing the BEACHs book for three years now. Somehow over that time pieces of it have ended up in different location. Today I think I have pulled it all back together and can begin to work again on this ambitious and potentially important book. You may recall it is about sociology in the workplace and uses the enneagram as a basis for a sociological construct to understand and predict how people react to each other in the workplace.

I am excited about the book and the myriad ideas in my head. I am realizing again how much perseverance and patience it takes to put a book together. I have the time and the energy but it is the where to start again that stops me in my tracks and convinces me to go do something else for a while. Patience was never one of my virtues. I have always preferred immediate gratification. Patience is something I have had to learn.

I have had many opportunities to learn the effects of NOT waiting and I have had many lessons on the payoff for patience. When I find myself becoming impatient with myself I have to force myself to slow down and think. Moving toward the project, slowly and methodically, so as not to scare it away, is the best approach I find. I can always find distractions and excuses but if I set up a step by step approach and put time aside in my calendar to write I can make progress.

What is progress? For me right now it is getting everything in the same place and taking one small step on a long journey to completion. Writers block for me is just the unwillingness to sit in the chaos and figure it all out. It is a detour on the journey, one I have become too comfortable with and have learned to enjoy. NOT GOOD.

Back to work. Thanks for listening