Last week I had a chance to help some people come to agreement on a long-standing issue.  It’s always satisfying when you can see what’s in the way and help them move around or through or over or under what ever that is.  It made me realize a couple of things about practice and mastery and how reading people is essential in this business.  It is not just about reading people and identifying their criteria for resolution but also ready what behaviours are infuriating or frustrating the other people in the room.  So you watch EVERYBODY and you notice your own responses and you name it.  The naming part takes courage but it is really all you have to do.  Finding a gentle way to tell someone that their behaviour is not helping can be tricky but well worth the mental effort it takes to cushion the words and use language you are confident they will understand. When you do SHIFT happens.

I was reminded that the PULSE Frame is very effective.  It is part of my MO now in most situations and in a high conflict one the elements are more obvious and their strong grounding in theory makes them very dependable.  Prepare for the conversation.  Then Uncover what they have come to resolve today.  Then Learn why its important to them, their criteria for resolution. Then Search possibilities that could resolve the situation and meet the shared and individual criteria.  Then write a plan of action that contains detailed items that are within their authority and will be shared with those who are involved in its implementation.  Introducing the process at the beginning … the process, purpose and protocol … and wrapping it up at the end are also important to give everyone confidence in the outcome.

Tomorrow morning at 10:00 am MST I will be hosting a webinar on adobe connect to commemorate the passing of PULSE. I have had wonderful notes from many people expressing their gratitude for the learnings shared through PULSE and some of indicated that they will work toward attending the webinar. It would be quite a testament to have people from around the world say a few words over the body of PULSE.

I will do the eulogy. I will talk about the beginnings of an idea for a training and development company, the opportunity to work with MTI, the travels and exploits, the growing number of professionals armed with the tools of conversation and the eventual fade of a once strong PULSE as time and circumstance took its toal. In recent years there was a renewal of sorts and we thought the patient had a chance at regaining its strength and vigor but unfortunately that burst of energy was short lived.

I hope you can come to say goodbye.

http://pulseinstitute.adobeconnect.com/flatline/

Thursday, December 4th at 10:00 am.

Gentle, honest, open, specific talk. This is the protocol that I use when speaking to others. It is also the protocol for successful conversations and sustainable outcomes that I have taught to more than 1000 people over the years some of whom have taught others and so on and so on.

It goes like this: Speak Gently so that others can keep listening and can hear what you have to say. Speak Honestly so that others can hear your truth. Without honesty no agreement or decision is sustainable because you are not psychologically prepared to move on, to let go of the past. Speak openly, say what you are thinking. Holding back your thoughts can be dangerous and is disrespectful of the other persons ability to hear it and respond. Speak specifically. Solve one issue at a time and give examples for clarity. Strip away the qualifiers and share the specifics of the issue at hand. Talk and keep talking until you have a resolution. No problem is truly solved in your own head. No conversation equals no solution.

There is a protocol of POWER listening and another for the gift of listening with HEART as well and a conversation map, PULSE for navigating difficult conversations.

These are pieces of the PULSE puzzle which I hope will endure, the legacy that PULSE leaves behind, the intellectual property developed and shared since 2002 when PULSE began. GHOST, HEART, POWER and PULSE – the aids to daily conversation that have proved again and again the power of deliberateness and intention in our relationship with others. I have used all of these skills in very personal ways over the last year to manage difficult conversations of my own.

After more than a year of trying to revive The PULSE Institute I have decided to let it go … to pull the plug and let it die a natural death. You will notice it weaken and fade into the background over the next few months. The final newsletter will be published this weekend and the final webinar will be broadcast next Thursday the 4th of December.

As for me …. well, although I will be mourning another loss in my life, I remain alive and kicking.

I am back in Saint Albert where I live on St Joseph Street and work on St Thomas Street and where on Sunday the down town restaurants and business are still closed. Those who don’t live downtown might not notice and I guess until there are more people who do, things won’t really change.

I also spend time at Lac Saint Ann which is a lake with a religious and spiritual history of healing. Saints are everywhere in the place names where I spend time.

In Barbados it was the same. Most of the Anglican parishes are named for Saints. Saint Andrew, Saint Michael, Saint Lucie, Saint Paul, Saint John, Saint Phillip to name a few. Saint Thomas and Saint Joseph were also there.

Those people got around. I hadn’t thought much about it before but when the contrast between Barbados and Alberta are so stark and yet the names of the places are the same that tells us something about the long arm of European civilization as it colonized the rest of the world.

Light thoughts this morning.(smile) It is good to be home.

Back to Canada and half way home. We are at the airport, the Toronto Pearson. I have memories here. A seven hour wait for weather to clear on the way to Nova Scotia. A full out run to catch a flight to Paris and another for New York. A quiet beer on a layover to or from anywhere. AND a memorable encounter with a TSA guy who withdrew my request for my annual renewal of my TN1 because my degree was in Philosophy not business. But that is another story … one many of you know already.

I also like Pearson airport because it reminds me of the man… Lester B. I was very young when he was prime minister. I lived in Ottawa then and I remember how proud I was to be a Canadian. Good things were happening in Government. Our reputation around the world as peace keepers was solid. Those years were golden for Canada.

It has been difficult to watch the dismantling of that Canada, the Canada of Mike Pearson, under this Harper Government. It makes me sad. I am anxiously awaiting Mel Hurtig’s new book not because it is good news but because it may actually wake people up to the true dismantling of our reputation in the world and our country at home.

I also read a novel called “24 Sussex Drive” that portrayed a diabolic PM who was being handled by what I call the right wing world mafia. In the book he manipulates the Governor General and the people of Canada in evil despicable ways that even those of us who have been involved can only begin to imagine.

Am I getting old? Have “the good old days” arrived for me? I am sure the world before mass media and mass transportation had its limitations and reminiscing about simpler times might be a function of having spend 10 days at sea. It’s never to late to have a happy childhood.

Thanks for the pride and the memories Mike.