BEACHs, PULSE Conversations, PULSE Enneagram, SHIFT Happens

The Wizard of OZ and PULSE

I am not sure why but this morning I have been thinking about the movie “The Wizard of Oz.” I think at the Academy Awards they recognized the 75 th of anniversary of the film. I remember P!nk singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” Maybe that is why it is with me.

The characters …Scarecrow, Tin-man and Lion … were all searching for something. Even Dorothy was looking for a way home. These characters represent our Head, Heart and Body. Scarecrow was looking for a brain. What the Wizard gave him was evidence of his already being smart with a diploma. The diploma gave him the confidence to move forward. The Tin-man was looking for a Heart, ways to connect with other people. The Wizard again gave him evidence that he already demonstrated the compassion he was seeking. The Lion was looking for courage. He wanted to be brave in the face of present danger. The Wizard gave him a medal as evidence that he had already demonstrated courage and bravery. Confidence, compassion and courage. Head, heart and body.

Dorothy, too, discovered that she had had the power to return home all along. All she had to do was click her heels together three times and say …”There is no place like home.” Like Dorothy we all have the power we need within us to make a change and make a difference. We can demonstrate confidence, compassion and courage under certain circumstances but we may not be very good at recognizing our own strengths. Think about a time when you had the confidence to make a change and the compassion and courage to make a difference.

BE the Wizard today. Give someone else evidence that they already possess confidence, compassion and courage. Do it by noticing for them what they may not recognize in themselves. Tell them their own story from a different perspective. They will smile.

Re – membering PULSE

I have been working on combining the two PULSE books today. They both include some of the history of PULSE and some clear distinctions that make PULSE unique. I love the five stages and how easily they occur in regular conversation. I love how you can watch the patterns emerge and people move through orientations to the past, the present and the future all the while shifting directions from away from the other, to with the other and toward the other in a kind of dance that fills the space between them. Each social exchange helps them define their own social being.

I write about the patterns as a structure to use when the exchange is difficult, when there is conflict or miscommunication. It is also so helpful in everyday life. Whether it is a face to face or a voice to voice or a text to text encounter really doesn’t matter. Social interaction guided by good communication that furthers the social capital of the sender and receiver always contains the five stages, anyway. They occur naturally. Prepare, Uncover, Learn, Search and Explain.

Prepare for the social interaction by defining purpose, process, protocol, people. Some times these are tacitly understood but if there is no clear understanding or assumptions are made that are not shared then things can go very wrong.

Uncover the circumstance that lead to the encounter … the past.

Learn what’s important about the circumstance in the present and identify BEACHs to use as criteria for change.

Search possibilities for a future that will meet the criteria.

Explain a plan of action with enough detail to make it sustain able.

The guiding questions move us through past to present and future orientations when you need them . The encounter map works to ensure that we use all of the directions. People have an opportunity to move away, to move with and toward when the structure is followed.

Each stage has critical elements. Mastering the elements takes time. Learning to use the frame is a little easier.

In Prepare for example it is important to use GHOST – Gentle Honest Open Specific Talk. It is important to be thorough and deliberate as you explain or have the other explain the rules of the game as you understand them. This is where you take an Appreciative Stance and ACT AS IF the encounter will result in a mutually beneficial outcome. The more you know about AI and how it works the better you get at Prepare. It is here that relational well being comes into play.

In Uncover it is important to listen deeply – with HEART – Hush, Empathize (feel their pain or joy), Attend, Reflect and Trust. Passive listening without judgement or bias, allowing the past to surface and sometimes change in the telling of the story with a different audience and allowing the shared title of the story to emerge. Emotional well being is important here.

In Learn it is important to prove that you are listening with POWER – Paraphrase, Open questions, WAIT, Empathize (name their pain or joy) and Reframe. Social selves emerge as do rules for future encounters and redefining of past encounters as Beliefs, Expectations, Assumptions, Concerns and Hopes are shared, acknowledged and understood. Relational well being is again at play here.

In Search it is important to focus on creativity and possibilities and the future. Patience is key as ideas are generated later to be vetted against the criteria of the BEACHs. Intellectual well being can make a difference here.

In Explain the other side of the brain, the analytical side is asked to perform as the details of the plan emerge and are tested to determine their sustainability. Again intellectual well being makes a difference.

Each stage requires levels of intellectual, emotional, relational, physical and spiritual well-being. More about that later.

Today was about remembering PULSE and the power of social exchanges. It was about expanding that thinking to include not just conversation but any human social interaction that contributes to us knowing who we really are, or re-membering ourselves as part of a greater whole.

Remembering PULSE and RE-membering PULSE.

We are working on getting you back into the habit of PULSE. Watch for a Newsletter next week and notice the changes on the website and join again if you can. Making it membership based has been the plan for a year or two now and we are closer today.

Adding value for our members and adding to the list of those of you who read and learn is the PULSE 2.0 Purpose, to give you the courage to make a change and the confidence to make a difference. The Process is to generate Products and Opportunities that help you gain the courage and the confidence you need to have successful social exchanges, when and where you need it. The Protocol remains a gentle, honest, open, specific, talk approach, using PULSE to teach PULSE. The People are PULSE professionals past, present and future with a shared desire to create the best social exchanges and build social capital for brighter futures.

Thanks for the member – ies. (smile)

SHIFT – A Sharp Mind

The first scale for measuring well-being on the SHIFT hand from the last blog, SHIFT Happens, is the scale for mental or intellectual well-being. It can be found on your pinky finger. How sharp are you today? That is the first question. Are you feeling on top of things mentally or are things a little foggy and dull today? On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate your mental well-being today?
Scales are personal. Only you can determine what they mean for you. Generally speaking you have an average day that ranks around a 5 on your scale, a day where nothing gets missed and things go well. Nothing too exciting happens. You answer questions that are asked of you and you accomplish routine tasks in routine ways.
Then there are days where a spark of curiousity illuminates the ideas in your head and you can hardly stand how brilliant you feel. Usually someone notices that you are ON and that lights you up again and away you go. The ignition is usually based in curiousity and the fuel is satisfaction of the curiousity, a new idea or a synthesis of thoughts that create new packaging for old ideas. A 10 day on the scale from 1 to 10, where your ideas are at your fingertips … literally. You have a sense of feeling encouraged and motivated and in the groove.
And then there are days where you can’t even string a sentence together. On those days you tend to rely on your other modalities or intelligences to get you through. Some days all of the scales are close to the palm of your hand, at a 1 on the scale. On those days it might take the igniting of one intelligence to pull the scales up for all of them. Mentally it is curiousity. If you can find something to be curious about you can improve the scale almost immediately. Sometimes I just get curious about why I am feeling so dull minded. That can be enough of a spark. I write about it because words and language serve our mental wellness. Or I read something that might provide a spark.
Rest is important. We are dullest when we have had little rest. Energy is important and we can take energy from that spark of curiousity. Nutrition is important. There are many studies about brain food. Exercise is important. Sudoku or cross words or brain teasers give us a work out. Water is important. Hydrate you r brain. That three o’clock drop in mental capacity is best served by a tall glass of water. My First Nations friends always remind me that water is the first medicine. To improve on our sharpness scale it is important to keep hydrated. Rest, Energy, Nutrition, Exercise, Water = RENEW for brain health and wellness.

Keep the mind Sharp so that we can SHIFT our integrated scales toward greater personal well-being.

A Sharp Mind – Pinky

A Happy Heart – Ring

An Independent Spirit – Middle

A Fit Body – Index and

A Trusting Soul – Thumb

Use your fingers to do your own check in now.

Watch for the next blog on ideas for improving your Heart well-being on the Happy Heart Scale.

To everything there is a season…

It’s getting busy again. The season of added responsibility is upon us.

How do you handle the pressure of Christmas? Making lists and lists and lists and working to complete the shopping and the baking etc can be overwhelming. And then there is the loneliness felt by many who are missing loved ones or who are measuring themselves against a standard of involvement in other people’s lives that may or may not be realistic.

I have to admit that Christmas and all of the activity that goes with it is not really my favourite time of year. I do feel the pressure to do the right thing, be in the right place, attend the right events, give the right gifts, cook the right food, entertain the right people. It has always been stressful for me, especially with all of the in-laws and out-laws I have gathered over the years. Preparations are hectic and sometimes overwhelming. Decisions about who will be where and when also cause me a lot of grief.

Once the actual festivities begin I calm down and I know that things will all work out fine. Christmas will come and go whether or not I am ready for it. Others will be thrilled with their gifts or not. Really I will likely never know because they will always politely say that it is wonderful. Meals will turn out well or not. Again I will likely never know because everyone will rave either way. I will see my good friends and my wonderful family and enjoy their company tremendously as I always do.

I am really very lucky to have wonderful people in my life. They would not want me to stress over the preparations for Christmas. Maybe that’s why I do. I never want to let these wonderful people down. The stress is self-imposed. I know that and I will make my lists and do what I can knowing that the important people in my life will love me whether or not Christmas is perfect. They are kind and forgiving and I love them.

So bring on the madness of the season and enjoy it. January will bring the wonderful healing Aloha of Hawaii for me. Anyone else feel the need for a rejuvenating vacation??

Patience

I have been writing the BEACHs book for three years now. Somehow over that time pieces of it have ended up in different location. Today I think I have pulled it all back together and can begin to work again on this ambitious and potentially important book. You may recall it is about sociology in the workplace and uses the enneagram as a basis for a sociological construct to understand and predict how people react to each other in the workplace.

I am excited about the book and the myriad ideas in my head. I am realizing again how much perseverance and patience it takes to put a book together. I have the time and the energy but it is the where to start again that stops me in my tracks and convinces me to go do something else for a while. Patience was never one of my virtues. I have always preferred immediate gratification. Patience is something I have had to learn.

I have had many opportunities to learn the effects of NOT waiting and I have had many lessons on the payoff for patience. When I find myself becoming impatient with myself I have to force myself to slow down and think. Moving toward the project slowly and methodically so as not to scare it away is the best approach I find. I can always find distractions and excuses but if I set up a step by step approach and put time aside in my calendar to write I can make progress.

What is progress? For me right now it is getting everything in the same place and taking one small step on a long journey to completion. Writers block for me is just the unwillingness to sit in the chaos and figure it all out. It is a detour on the journey, one I have become too comfortable with and have learned to enjoy. NOT GOOD.

Back to work. Thanks for listening

aloha

So today I head back to reality. It’s a long trip. It is so beautiful and relaxing here. its’ been a week of physical challenges and plenty of time to think and be. I missed my journal and writing everyday and although every day presented topics for blogs I just didn’t get a round to it. Luxurious lazy days. Last night I slept for 10 hours I was so tired for sitting by the pool and waling along the beach and having a fabulous dinner at the St Regis.

It is another sunny day here with a little bit of Vog from the volcano on the big island. Tomorrow they tell us that the rains will come. Back home to the snow and ice and the cold … mood altering weather.. but to friends and family.

Aloha, Kauai…. until next time.

This world keeps spinning faster except in Kauai

The days are slow here. We did a lot of different things at a leisurely pace yesterday. I even had a nap in the middle of the day. It is a different way of life.

This morning I was up about six and walked down to the corner of the building to see if I could watch the sun come up over the water. It is overcast so there was only the gentle addition of light to mark the beginning of the day. And the Roosters … If you have been to Kauai you know the roosters…

So what am I learning here? At home slowing down seems like a scary proposition. You might miss a deadline or an appointment or you won’t fit all of those family and social events into your week. Here you can do those things later … when you get home. There are new people who are smiling because they are on vacation too. There are things to do or not. There are places to see or not and there is mood enhancing weather.

I can and do stop and smell the roses or watch the sunset or the trees covered with snow at home. I love the images that nature gives us no matter where in the world we live. And I love the opportunity to slow it down this week and enjoy. Thank you. Appreciatively yours…

Welcome back to Paradise

I am back in Princeville Kauai. The message on my phone this morning was “Welcome back to paradise” I do love it here. I think this is the fifth year now that I have been coming here to write and to play. This is the first year where I haven’t set any deadlines or routines for myself. I really have come to enjoy the place and relax.

It has been a different year for me. My one year full time contract is almost over. I have been getting up early and going to work regularly for nine months now. It has been exciting and fun and I have learned so much and met such wonderful people. I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. What it has helped me realize is the importance of down time and time away.

Running my own business and accepting shorter contracts here and there left lots of down time in the middle and I don’t thing I ever felt like I really needed a physical, mental and emotional break from it all because it was just part of who I was and what I did. This year is different somehow.

I didn’t bring my BEACHs book to finish (although the file is on my iPad) I didn’t even bring a journal to write in (although I may go and buy one). I just brought bathing suits and a smile. I will let you know how it goes.

Dynamic Incompleteness – AKA Open for Contribution

I love this Prime number 12 from Chris McGoff. Dynamic – changing and moving and growing and present – Incompleteness – with holes in it. It really describes a state where contributions are welcome. The vision or goal is incomplete. there is enough information to see the shape of the thing but room to contribute in a meaningful way. What that does is allows people to own it. The contribution is the key to ownership and champions are born of ownership. The best leaders know about ships. Carol Steen and I, when we taught leadership at the University of Lethbridge for 10 summers, used the ship metaphor a lot.

There is a fleet of ships called leader. Ownership is one of the most important. People take care of what they own and once they have CHOSEN to contribute they begin to develop that sense of pride and attachment that only comes from ownership. Leaders do not need to have all the answers. Sometimes they just need the right questions and to provide the right kind of opportunity for their followers to contribute… to fill in the blank or the holes in the Swiss cheese which is the metaphor that McGoff uses. So a leader who strategically allows for his followers to contribute to the vision he is creating wins in two ways. He gains the loyalty and commitment of his followers and he likely has a better product at the end.

It’s interesting that no matter what they BEACH, the dynamic incompleteness concept holds. The difference will be in the kind of hole each perspective or DO point will want to fill. The excellent leader leaves the right kind of holes to allow for nine kinds of contribution.

A Request from a Reader to Explain BEACHS

A request from a reader to explain BEACHs …

BEACHs represent to me nine sets of beliefs, expectations, assumptions, concerns and hopes that make up a culture or group of people who are seeking something in the world. They are my sociological interpretation of George Gurdjeiff’s work from the early 1900’s. He was seeking truth in the cosmos and used a symbol with nine points on a circle, the Enneagram to talk about how the world works. Scholars, astronomers, mathematicians like Pythagoras and others have also used it as a representation that explains some aspect of their work. Psychologists in North America since the 1980’s have used it to talk about the inner workings of a human’s psyche. Jesuits use it to identify patterns of sin and redemption. I use it to understand human behaviour from the interaction or behavioural side of things looking at it from the perspective of the social struggler making their way through the maze of relationship with people places and events in the world. I’m working on the book.

You can map the nine perspectives on a 3 X 3 grid. There are three directions that people travel when interacting. Toward, With or Away from. You can see and sense this almost the minute they enter your line of vision or space. There are also three Orientations they take. Past, present or future. You can hear this in their language. If you put those on a 3X3 grid you see nine perspectives. Those D.O. points placed on the Enneagram circle represent combinations of direction and orientation. I call these places where we stand to look at the world BEACHs. They represent nine sets of Beliefs, Expectations, Assumptions, Concerns and Hopes: Beliefs about the world based on past experiences, Expectations for those in it, Assumptions about how things are and work, Concerns and Hopes for what’s coming next.

To briefly introduce the nine patterns or BEACHS consider this list of nine motivations from the perspective of the “social struggler” making his or her way in the world.

What they learn and how you can tell ( Direction and Orientation )

The world is ….wrong. My job is to make it right. I seek perfection. D. with O. present
The world is … suffering. My job is to help. I seek connection. D. with O. past
The world is … inefficient. My job is to produce. I seek success. D. toward O. past
The world is … dull. My job is to add beauty. I seek differentiation. D. away O. past
The world is … stupid. My job is to add wisdom. I seek detachment. D. away O. future
The world is … dangerous. My job is to protect. I seek security. D. with O. future
The world is … sad. My job is to make it joyful. I seek excitement. D. toward O. future
The world is … weak. My job is to add strength. I seek power. D. toward O. present
The world is … conflicted. My job is to add calm. I seek peace. D. away O. present

This is a very brief tip of the iceberg look at this simple yet complex view of human behaviour. I hope it situates the idea for you.

My work on the blog lately has been to see the usefulness of the map and compass of the BEACHs as a guide through the Primes by Chris McGoff.

One more prime for this week, Prime 12 Declaration. McGoff suggests that great leaders DECLARE what is to be. The strength of the language is evident. Not only do they declare what is to be but by when so that Declarations relate to outcome and are date certain. I agree that in certain circumstances this is what great leaders do. To be the holder of the vision and to have the crayons with which to colour the picture, and the courage to do so is essential in leadership. People need clarity and focus so that they can be pulled toward an outcome that is date certain.

Setting intention is powerful and can move people to act. Maybe I should be making a Declaration for the completion of the Sociology of the Enneagram book and make it date certain. If I declare out loud and in public that I will be finished a complete draft by the end of October it gives me a target and a focus for what to do with my spare time. Hmmmm.

Sometimes it is more important to not know. That leads to the next Prime… Dynamic incompleteness which we can talk about next time.

Remember if you know Chris McGoff please let him know you are reading about this here. Maybe he will comment too.

Category : BEACHs