Author Archives: Dr. Nancy Love

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As an Executive Coach, a Professional Speaker and an author, Dr. Love gives the gift of courage and confidence to her clients... courage to make a change and confidence to make a difference. Learn more »
Merry Christmas 2014
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Merry Christmas

It’s a beautiful day in St Albert. The snow is falling like on a Christmas Card. The kids are tobogganing down the hill and earlier the church bells at the Mission were ringing. Life is good. Spending time with friends and family and in the kitchen always reminds you of how could it feels to do things for others.

Merry Christmas everyone.

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Nancy at the lake
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PRESS PAUSE

I had lunch with a friend yesterday and as I described how life is for me right now she said “It’s like you are on “pause.” It was an interesting thought. Not stuck or hung in limbo but on pause. I like how that sounds. It explains things well. I find myself waiting for other people to do things that will allow me to move forward.

Have you ever been in that situation? Have you ever been waiting for your lap top to come back from repair and the lamp shades you ordered to be brought into the local store because the movers lost the first ones and the furniture store to have time to take your brand new dining room set back to change out the pedestal and fix the one damaged chair. These are the minor inconveniences. It just seems like everything I try to do needs some stars somewhere else to line up first.

I AM on PAUSE. Every now and then I get to take a step forward, sometimes even two but then another someone somewhere has to get the address corrected or the password sorted out or … AND if I don’t stay on top of things as I wait I run the risk of being forgotten or pushed to the back of an imaginary line of people waiting for services from the same people I need to do their one little piece of something so that my life can go on.

I know I am not alone. Many of you experience the hurry up and wait of modern life. WE make lists … not of what we need to do but of what we need to follow up on.

Be Patient on Pause. That will have to be my motto for now. I can hardly wait to press RESUME and get back in the game. Until then …. (sigh)

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Coffee and lake view
PULSE Conversations
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Thanks, everyone.

It has been a blast.  I have enjoyed the ride and hope you all have too.

Remember to prepare for the conversation, uncover the circumstance of the past, learn the significance in the present and search the possibilities for the future before you write your plan of action.

Prepare. Uncover, Learn, Search, Explain

People Using Language Skills Effectively.

Keep in touch…..

If you are reading this on www.pulseinstitute.com please visit nancylove.me or nancylove.wordpress.com.  Blogs will continue to be shared on facebook and Linked in as well.  The Institute will fade away but its good works will not be forgotten.

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An Invitation to tomorrow’s wake

Tomorrow morning at 10:00 am MST I will be hosting a webinar on adobe connect to commemorate the passing of PULSE. I have had wonderful notes from many people expressing their gratitude for the learnings shared through PULSE and some of indicated that they will work toward attending the webinar. It would be quite a testament to have people from around the world say a few words over the body of PULSE.

I will do the eulogy. I will talk about the beginnings of an idea for a training and development company, the opportunity to work with MTI, the travels and exploits, the growing number of professionals armed with the tools of conversation and the eventual fade of a once strong PULSE as time and circumstance took its toal. In recent years there was a renewal of sorts and we thought the patient had a chance at regaining its strength and vigor but unfortunately that burst of energy was short lived.

I hope you can come to say goodbye.

http://pulseinstitute.adobeconnect.com/flatline/

Thursday, December 4th at 10:00 am.

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PULSE Conversations, PULSE Revival
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The End of PULSE

PULSE has flat lined.  We will slowly be moving the PULSE intellectual property and website into mothballs.  It is sad but necessary.  All things must end.  PULSE is no different.  It has run its course, training people around the world how to speak and listen to each other in ways that make peaceful productive workplaces and relationships possible.  It has been a great run.

I have had opportunities to work with people in Europe, Africa, the USA, the Caribbean and sometimes even in Canada.  I have learned how difficult it can be to be a profit in your own land.  PULSE has really gained more attention away from Alberta and Canada than it has here.

PULSE is more than a conversation Frame.  It was an Institute that studied People Using Language Skills Effectively.  The client list is impressive and the number of PULSE professionals created over the 13 years of operation gives me hope that PULSE and its teachings will continue.

As a business it has failed.  I take responsibility for that and that is why I have signed the “do not resuscitate” order.  This could turn into confessions of a reluctant entrepreneur but most of you who know me have heard those confessions and don’t really need a recap.

It has been fun and interesting and the BEST part is the people that I have been privileged to meet along the way. We made videos.  We wrote books.  We created learning opportunities in person and on line.  We gave people tools like GHOST and HEART and POWER and more recently BEACHes and SHIFT AND we brought people to resolution … again, and again , and again using the specific techniques embedded in the frame.

I want to thank everyone who has ever participated in any kind of PULSE event and invite you to continue to use any of the tools you learned to resolve issues for yourself and others.  The world needs skilled communicators like you.

I will ask Andrew to send this out as a newsletter to our list on the weekend.  There is a webinar scheduled for December 4th. It would be great if you could join us.  A champagne toast to end a fantastic journey. http://pulseinstitute.adobeconnect.com/flatline/  Any one can join. A Wake for an old friend, a acceleration of the life of an idea.  Hope you can make it.

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GHOSTS

Gentle, honest, open, specific talk. This is the protocol that I use when speaking to others. It is also the protocol for successful conversations and sustainable outcomes that I have taught to more than 1000 people over the years some of whom have taught others and so on and so on.

It goes like this: Speak Gently so that others can keep listening and can hear what you have to say. Speak Honestly so that others can hear your truth. Without honesty no agreement or decision is sustainable because you are not psychologically prepared to move on, to let go of the past. Speak openly, say what you are thinking. Holding back your thoughts can be dangerous and is disrespectful of the other persons ability to hear it and respond. Speak specifically. Solve one issue at a time and give examples for clarity. Strip away the qualifiers and share the specifics of the issue at hand. Talk and keep talking until you have a resolution. No problem is truly solved in your own head. No conversation equals no solution.

There is a protocol of POWER listening and another for the gift of listening with HEART as well and a conversation map, PULSE for navigating difficult conversations.

These are pieces of the PULSE puzzle which I hope will endure, the legacy that PULSE leaves behind, the intellectual property developed and shared since 2002 when PULSE began. GHOST, HEART, POWER and PULSE – the aids to daily conversation that have proved again and again the power of deliberateness and intention in our relationship with others. I have used all of these skills in very personal ways over the last year to manage difficult conversations of my own.

After more than a year of trying to revive The PULSE Institute I have decided to let it go … to pull the plug and let it die a natural death. You will notice it weaken and fade into the background over the next few months. The final newsletter will be published this weekend and the final webinar will be broadcast next Thursday the 4th of December.

As for me …. well, although I will be mourning another loss in my life, I remain alive and kicking.

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SHIFT Happens, Social Exchange
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Reverence and Irreverence

Can you tell the difference between someone who is being reverent and someone who is being irreverent?  I think they can mean somewhat the same thing.  if you are being irreverent is because at some level you feel a certain mount of reverence for the person, place or thing.  Otherwise you wouldn’t take the time to be irreverent.  It is kind of like “irregardless” to me.

That’s not really what I wanted to talk about today but it has been in my head for about a week.  I was introduced to Mrs. Brown on YouTube a week ago.  It is a BBC sitcom now I believe and it is very funny in an irreverent kind of way.  If you need a laugh, a belly laugh, I recommend you watch an episode or two as long as you are not easily offended.  Mrs. Brown says what the rest of us might only think.  She reminds me of my family from Newfoundland.  She has same irreverent attitude toward people, places and things that my mother and her sisters had.

It has been a long week.  Getting back in the swing of things often takes more energy than I remember from the last time I was away.  Meetings and visitors and curling and hosting parties and laundry and unpacking and it was a very full week.  This post is not as exciting as the descriptions of exotic places from last week.  It is home and it is routine and I love it just as much as being away.

At home there are always problems to solve and plans to make and things to do, the routine weekly, monthly and annual things that fill your calendar.  Those are the kind of things we think everybody else does better than us… keeping organized.  Staying on top of household accounts, repairs and replacements and social events and media and finding time to work too is not for the faint of heart.  It can be exhausting especially if you spent last week in an exotic place NOT thinking about any of that.

Back to the grind … with a smile on my face and reverence for all things routine.  Find the time to work on the book this week.  It’s going to be great.  Just wait and see. But as Mrs. Brown might say …”Too bad the &^%$@# thing can’t write itself.  It’s the only way you’ll get it done.” Irreverence … always a grain of truth.

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Saints in our Lives

I am back in Saint Albert where I live on St Joseph Street and work on St Thomas Street and where on Sunday the down town restaurants and business are still closed. Those who don’t live downtown might not notice and I guess until there are more people who do, things won’t really change.

I also spend time at Lac Saint Ann which is a lake with a religious and spiritual history of healing. Saints are everywhere in the place names where I spend time.

In Barbados it was the same. Most of the Anglican parishes are named for Saints. Saint Andrew, Saint Michael, Saint Lucie, Saint Paul, Saint John, Saint Phillip to name a few. Saint Thomas and Saint Joseph were also there.

Those people got around. I hadn’t thought much about it before but when the contrast between Barbados and Alberta are so stark and yet the names of the places are the same that tells us something about the long arm of European civilization as it colonized the rest of the world.

Light thoughts this morning.(smile) It is good to be home.

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Toronto Pearson

Back to Canada and half way home. We are at the airport, the Toronto Pearson. I have memories here. A seven hour wait for weather to clear on the way to Nova Scotia. A full out run to catch a flight to Paris and another for New York. A quiet beer on a layover to or from anywhere. AND a memorable encounter with a TSA guy who withdrew my request for my annual renewal of my TN1 because my degree was in Philosophy not business. But that is another story … one many of you know already.

I also like Pearson airport because it reminds me of the man… Lester B. I was very young when he was prime minister. I lived in Ottawa then and I remember how proud I was to be a Canadian. Good things were happening in Government. Our reputation around the world as peace keepers was solid. Those years were golden for Canada.

It has been difficult to watch the dismantling of that Canada, the Canada of Mike Pearson, under this Harper Government. It makes me sad. I am anxiously awaiting Mel Hurtig’s new book not because it is good news but because it may actually wake people up to the true dismantling of our reputation in the world and our country at home.

I also read a novel called “24 Sussex Drive” that portrayed a diabolic PM who was being handled by what I call the right wing world mafia. In the book he manipulates the Governor General and the people of Canada in evil despicable ways that even those of us who have been involved can only begin to imagine.

Am I getting old? Have “the good old days” arrived for me? I am sure the world before mass media and mass transportation had its limitations and reminiscing about simpler times might be a function of having spend 10 days at sea. It’s never to late to have a happy childhood.

Thanks for the pride and the memories Mike.

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Another Magical Day

Today was a perfect day. The weather cooperated and we were on the beach at Mayreau for the champagne and caviar splash. Pictures to follow. The water was warm and soothing. We swam to the float which at first glance I deemed to be well beyond a distance that matched my capabilities as a swimmer. Three of us headed off with our noodles and quite easily reached our destination. Then we climbed a moving ladder to get aboard the trampoline like contraption. Someone had promised us champagne if we actually made it but our cries for recognition and more champagne were met with waves of acknowledgement and cameras taking our picture.

Then two more brave souls took the plunge and this after a few glasses of champagne and a fabulous lunch buffet that seemed to appear out of no where. Everyone was in the water and then everyone was at lunch all the while enjoying the sounds of the steel drum band.

As we played like children I noticed that one of our trusty noodles had taken flight and was heading toward the ship and beyond. It showed us the strength of the current beyond where we were on the float. We let it go and then shared the two noodles among the three of us for the float back to shore. It was a great adventure which really taught me that going beyond your perceived limitations can be invigorating and good for your self confidence. I enjoyed the challenge and the successful completion of it.

Tomorrow we leave friends and new acquaintances to return to our individual lives but we take with us the memories of good times and good people.

Thank you hardly does it but there it is….. Thank you Sea Dream.

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