Staying Green

If you are familiar with PULSE conversations you know that they provide you with tools to move people from the RED Zone of retaliation and anger to the GREEN Zone of connection and collaboration. I have often written about it when I talk to mediators and negotiators because in those circumstances people enter the conversation ready for a fight, in the Red Zone.

Recently I was working with a coaching client on his approach to an up coming difficult conversation. What I realized that we were doing together was creating a strategy for STAYING in the GREEN zone from the beginning. So we talked about how to avoid triggers and word choices that would make it impossible for the other person to take offense and move to red. It was an enlightening exercise for both of us.

We took turns playing the roles. I read to him what he had prepared and he could hear immediately what words might trigger an unfavourable reaction. Then we talked about remaining curious rather than accusatory, asking questions rather than giving opinions, listening for tense orientation and matching it for best opportunity to connect, matching and mismatching to move them to the purpose of the meeting, being clear about that purpose from the beginning and in fact following closely the PULSE structure to insure a positive outcome.

This is a very different purpose for the PULSE frame and associated skills but a very useful one for anyone in leadership who needs to deliver news in a way that won’t incite riots. How do you work with someone to have them come to understand some hard to hear news without triggering emotional responses that can negatively impact the working relationship? There are deliberate steps to follow and effective tools at your disposal. GHOST, POWER and HEART to name 15…..

I am hosting 40 hour PULSE Course in October and November. The first 16 hours are on line at your leisure, at your own computer with me providing feedback as you finis the modules. You receive a link and a password the first week in October. Then November 14, 15, 16 I have room for three more people to work with me on the practice part of the program in St Albert at the office. If you are interested or would like to recommend the program to someone else, let me know.

I am leaving for Europe today. I will blog when I can. Europe always inspires me. France and Italy this time. Au revoir ….