SIX – The Loyal Skeptic

Sixes may have been skeptical that I would every get around to talking about them.  As a six I would be wondering if anyone is really reading this.  Sixes move toward Acceptance in intergration.  It is the quality that Riso and Hudson identify for them.  It is also the missing criteria for them when they are in conflict.  The Illusion of Judgement as identified by Walsch is what the one that they need to understand.  Judgement does not exist according to Walsch and when sixes see that they can move toward Acceptance.

Sixes will also be afraid that they don’t know enough about the Enneagram at this point so I have decided to include my paper for the International Enneagram Association in its entirety below.  It is 14 pages and there is no judgement around whether you read it all or not.  BE KNOW DO who you are.  If you are in your six, enjoy the detail and the revelation of everything I know about Enneagram … well alsmost everything (smile).  Seven’s like to tease sixes!!

The Enneagram and the 1-9 BEACH’s

BY Dr. Nancy Love

The PULSE Frame is a conversation archetype discovered and developed over the past decade that relies heavily on an understanding of the Enneagram to effectively manage conversations within the Frame.  The Frame has five building blocks; Prepare, Uncover, Learn Search and Explain. The names of the pieces spell PULSE.  Each is distinct in purpose and focus and each builds on the previous so that participants in the conversation go away with a clear sense of what will happen next.  The purpose of this paper is to familiarize the reader with the PULSE Frame and its use of the Enneagram typologies.  The Frame is firmly anchored in Appreciative Inquiry and thought and relies heavily on understanding changing perceptions in conversation and the Enneagram for its continued success. PULSE practitioners (users and teachers) in many parts of the world use the Frame as a mediation tool, a coaching tool, a negotiation tool, an inquiry tool, a strategic planning tool, a sales tool and a learning tool.  It can and has been applied in many situations to resolve differences to the satisfaction of everyone involved.

Prepare for the reading

The process for this paper follows the PULSE Frame for writing: Prepare will set you up for reading with an introduction that includes the protocol, process, purpose, confidentiality, authority, roles and time. Uncover explores what is known about PULSE and the Enneagram with a new twist on the Enneagram and the BEACH pneumonic and their uses in the PULSE Frame. Following Uncover, Learn explores the significance:  the reasons that this discovery is important to PULSE practitioners and of certain interest to Enneagram practitioners as well.  Search explores applications for this concept. Explain is a call to action for you the reader and a commitment from me, the writer, as to next steps for integrating this thinking.

A protocol for PULSE conversations ensures an environment where parties can keep on listening and say what needs to be said to resolve their circumstances. The PULSE protocol calls on parties to be Gentle with each other, so that the other person can keep listening; to speak Honestly, revealing any thoughts of feelings in a gentle way; to be Open to hearing what the other person is saying and allow their words to influence present perceptions; to use Specific examples that lead to clarity in communication; and to Talk, to say what they are thinking so that they are prepared to move on.  This protocol guides the writing of this paper as well and I invite you to consider it as you read.  My role as author is to be gentle, honest, open, and specific and to talk with you; yours is to stay engaged until you have read the entire paper. The information forms part of a presentation to the International Enneagram Association Conference in Atlanta in July, 2008.  As author, I outline my thinking and as reader you are invited to provide feedback in an email to nancylove@pulseinstitute.com. The short paper will provide a basic overview of the concept and its uses.

Uncover the story

The story of this discovery began in San Diego at a PULSE learning session.  Although participants had been using and teaching the PULSE Frame for a while, a few had not been introduced to the Enneagram and the power and strength that it adds to the Frame.  In a single session it is difficult to become acquainted with the nine enneatypes.  Participants had read about them in the PULSE Conversations for Change (Love, 2008) text and had completed the RHETI Sampler (Riso and Hudson) so they had an idea of what their own types might be.  Remembering all nine types created the first challenge and then remembering where parties might be in growth and in stress and what their wing might be created stress for the participants who were anxious to understand and apply the learning.

            As we travelled together through the session, someone read a quote from PULSE Conversations for Change that had resonated with them.  “When travelling, remember that other countries are not designed for your comfort but for the comfort of the people who live there.” I had often referred to Enneatypes as ‘default settings’ but this quote provided another metaphor – ‘country of origin’.  As I began to talk about the nine types as nine countries of origin, each with its own culture and set of Beliefs, Expectations, Assumptions, Concerns and Hopes (BEACH), I realized that describing each Enneatype as a beach would perhaps make it more meaningful for PULSE Practitioners who already understood the BEACH acronym and how it is used to identify criteria for resolution within the Frame.

The PULSE Frame uses a Gentle, Honest, Open, Specific Talk protocol for parties to use while speaking and listening to each other.  This is generally aimed at having people speak so that others can keep on listening, so that the sharing of information is complete – transmitted and received without defensiveness.  Effective conversations have all of the elements of a PULSE conversation whether parties are aware of the frame or not.  It identifies the natural way in which effective conversations evolve and uses that knowledge to structure conversations where conflict or tension may get in the way. 

The conversation begins by Preparing parties for the conversation, by setting purpose, process and protocol clearly and identifying authority, confidentiality or audience, roles and time for the conversation.  Then parties Uncover the past circumstance, Learn the present significance of the circumstance and Search possibilities for the future that address the criteria from the present before they Explain a plan of action moving forward.  Each piece has a conversation flow map that changes as parties move from one piece to another.  In Prepare, the conversation leader does most of the talking to the parties.  In Uncover, the parties tell their story while others listen.  In Learn parties engage in a dialogue aimed at surfacing the criteria for a better future together, answering the question “Why is this important?” of “What are the underlying Beliefs, Expectations, Assumptions, Concerns and Hopes that you have in this situation?”  In Search parties brainstorm 10 – 12 ideas or options for resolution which are captured on chart paper and in Explain the conversation leader acts as scribe to capture the detailed plan of action in writing.

One of the key elements that distinguish this kind of structured conversation is the identification of criteria for a better future.  This identification comes about in the Learn piece where parties share what is important or significant about the situation, what’s missing so that future plans can address the present criteria.  PULSE practitioners use the BEACH acronym to remember the Beliefs, Expectation, Assumptions, Concerns and Hopes that they are listening for in this piece.  BEACH is also a descriptor or perhaps a metaphor for the nine points on the Enneagram circle and the path that parties follow as they move through the conversation from the past, through the present and on to the future.  Knowing the Enneagram makes it much easier for conversation leaders to get to the BEACH of the parties, to understand why they may be stuck on one BEACH and which other BEACH is attractive to them.  The use of the Enneagram as a tool for understanding where people come from or their home BEACH, where they go in stress and where they go when they are ready to move on has enhanced the PULSE Frame considerably.  The Enneagram makes the PULSE conversation more accessible to beginners and advanced practitioners alike. 

            On the Enneagram circle there are nine points.  Each represents a BEACH, a set of Beliefs, Expectations, Assumptions, Concerns and Hopes.  Each is designed for the comfort of the residents of the BEACH.  Each BEACH has neighbours that arrive from time to time for support and the proverbial cup of sugar.  Each BEACH has visitors from other BEACH’s who arrive for different reasons, on ferries that change direction, each needing to spend time on that particular BEACH at that particular time for different reasons.  As a PULSE Practitioner it really isn’t necessary to know why someone is on the BEACH when you meet them in conversation.  It is important to be able to identify which BEACH the party is on and what needs they are trying to satisfy at that time.  The Language of the participants will give PULSE practitioners an indication of the BEACH the person is coming from at the time, whether they are a resident, a neighbour or a visitor will become clearer as the conversation progresses.  When parties move to another BEACH, they will begin to use the language of that BEACH and will conform to the culture, values and norms, although they may have an accent that distinguishes them from the natives of the BEACH.  Parties may move through and visit three BEACHs in one conversation.  In Uncover they may be on the “one beach”.  In Learn they may have shifted to the “seven beach”.  The Search and Explain, they may be visiting the “five beach”.  What makes this easier to track is that the “ferries” only run between certain BEACHs and at specific times, for specific reasons.  On most BEACHs it is easy to identify the residents because they are very comfortable with the Beliefs, Expectations, Assumptions, Concerns and Hopes and very fluent in the language.

For example someone whose home BEACH is the SEVEN BEACH could be seen to travel in a conversation.  In UNCOVER they may be on the ONE BEACH because they are feeling stressed.  In LEARN they may have shifted to the SEVEN BEACH where they can identify their default criteria.  The SEARCH and EXPLAIN, they may be visiting the FIVE BEACH, which fits with a SEVENs Growth Path.  What makes this easier to track is that the Ferries that connect the BEACHs only run between certain BEACHs and at specific times, for specific reasons.  On most BEACH’s it is easy to identify the residents because they are very comfortable with the Beliefs, Expectations, Assumptions, Concerns and Hopes and very fluent in the language.  They are clear as to the criteria for motivation on the BEACH and contribute to the consistency there.  Chart 1 indicates the one word descriptors for the BEACHs and also indicates a FERRY Schedule that takes parties from the Red Zone or Emotional Past to the, in the Yellow Zone or Active Present and then to the Green Zone of Thoughtful Futures.  For each number the Zones are different which explains the diversity of motivation on any one BEACH.  People are there for different reasons and are in different Zones even though they may be on the same BEACH.  Descriptions of each of the BEACHs and the inhabitants and visitors follow.

CHART 1:

The ONE BEACH is neat and organized.  It is situated in the Active Present Harbour.  There are rules and standards and everyone is happy to follow them.  There is a place for everything and everything is in its place.  From time to time a neighbour from BEACH NINE or TWO arrives to enjoy the ONE BEACH, to experience the tidiness and be supported by it.  Visitors also arrive from other BEACH’s for different reasons.  The SEVEN residents arrive on the Stress Ferry when they are feeling stressed and need to create and maintain some order in their hectic lives which they do with zeal and over exuberance.  They are in the ONE BEACH in the Red Zone.  FOUR residents arrive on the Growth Ferry when they are feeling more secure and ready to move away from their desire to be different, moving toward conformity on the ONE BEACH.  They are on the ONE BEACH in the Green Zone.  Native ONES are enjoying the perfection in their Yellow Zone on the BEACH that shines brightest for them.

The TWO BEACH is a caring place where people help each other.  It is found in the Emotional Past Harbour.  There is a sense of selflessness that is highly valued.  Taking care of others is not only second nature it is first. From time to time a neighbour arrives from BEACH ONE or THREE to help others and regain a sense of purpose and fulfill their need to be needed.  Visitors arrive on the Growth Ferry from BEACH EIGHT.  They are in the Green Zone, working for a cause and helping others.  The Stress Ferry from BEACH FOUR brings visitors who are over protective and a domineering.  They are in the Red Zone and will need to fulfill this need to help someone before they are comfortable returning home to their own BEACH.  Resident TWO’s are happy to look after the Red Zone FOURS.  They also enjoy helping each other and sharing a need to help on this their Yellow Zone or sunniest BEACH.

The THREE BEACH has hardworking, success oriented residents.  There is always lots to do because keeping busy and productive is important to those who live there.  The THREE BEACH is the center of the Emotional Past Harbour.  The Sign says “BEST BEACH For DECADES” and when TWO’s visit from the neighbouring BEACH, they agree.  FOUR’s also drop in to get a boost of ambition to their creative side.  The Growth Ferry brings people from the SIX BEACH so that they can work hard and accomplish a lot on this inspirational BEACH once they feel their needs for security have been met.  They are in the Green Zone moving toward a better future. The Stress Ferry brings NINE residents who can be boastful and self-centered when they arrive.  They are in their Red Zone and will need to feel successful before they can again be comfortable on their home BEACH.  The THREE BEACH provides them with lots of activity and opportunity to receive acknowledgement in contrast to their own quiet, relaxed NINE BEACH.  Native THREE’s are enjoying the business and the accomplishment on this their home Yellow Zone BEACH.

The FOUR BEACH is different.  Everyone is different on the FOUR BEACH.  Uniqueness is something that is celebrated here.  FOUR’s are motivated by differentiating themselves from others.  It is also found in the Emotional Past Harbour.  THREE’s visit from the neighbouring BEACH  to feel special or supported in their uniqueness.  FIVE’s also seek support for unique ideas on this BEACH that values their individuality.  The FOUR BEACH also hosts ONE’s who arrive on the Stress Ferry and are in the Red Zone, stuck in a place until their individuality is acknowledged and TWO’s who arrive on the Growth Ferry to find their Green Zone and move toward their higher quality of Self Nurturing. FOUR’s are at home on this BEACH that is different from others and allows for their uniqueness to be seen as special.  It is a sunny Yellow Zone place for them.

The FIVE BEACH is often very quiet.  People enjoy the ease with which they can detach from each other without ruffling anyone else.  FIVE’s are observers in the Thoughtful Future Harbour, the absent minded professors, the analytical.  From the FIVE BEACH the world is a place to be studied.  Neigbours from the Loyal Skeptic BEACH of the SIX come to think and find support for their own suspicions or sense of loyalty and time to think.  Neigbours from the FOUR BEACH are looking for evidence to support their latest creative brilliance.  The Stress Ferry brings people from the EIGHT BEACH who are in their Red Zone and are less than friendly in their quiet detachment.  Native s in the Yellow Zone are seeking time to reflect and detach to observe the world and bask in the sunshine.  The Growth Ferry has also brought some evolving SEVEN’s who are multi-tasking even as they enjoy the solitude and the opportunity to focus and concentrate.

The SIX BEACH is a very safe place to be.  SIXes enjoy checking and finding that all places, events and relationships are secure and they can relax.  It is the centre of the Thoughtful Future Harbour and the Loyal Skeptic Sixes ensure that they know the whereabouts of everyone at all times. People feel safe here and protected and they enjoy checking everything two or three times again. Neigbours from the SEVEN BEACH may drop by for support and to examine their own skepticism.  Leary FIVEs may enjoy the sense of sureness and protection provided here as well.  The Stress Ferry brings NINEs, normally peacemakers who in their Red Zone, need to face a fear and find reassurance before they can go back to their peaceful NINE BEACH.  The Growth Ferry brings Achiever THREEs who are in their Green Zone moving toward their authentic selves.  The native SIXs enjoy the search for the hidden agendas on this their sunny Yellow Zone BEACH.

The SEVEN BEACH is in the Thoughtful Future Harbour.  There are many plans for the completion of this BEACH and lots of meetings and sessions on how to finish things but generally there are wonderful ideas and concepts abandoned.  Everyone is having fun.  Neigbours from the SIX BEACH are enjoying the adventure as are the Neigbours from the EIGHT Protector BEACH because they are free of commitment in this place where people focus on a positive future.  The Stress Ferry brings FIVEs, normally withdrawn and pensive who become frivolous and scattered in their Red Zone.    The Growth Ferry brings ONEs who like to finish the unfinished projects and yet enjoy the playful sense of choice and freedom in this their Green Zone.  The Yellow Zone SEVENs enjoy the excitement, the variety, and the options.  They juggle the future on this their sunny home BEACH.

The EIGHT BEACH is well protected and everything is for your own good.  EIGHTs are in charge on this BEACH in the Active Present Harbour.  EIGHTS seek power and control and enjoy taking up causes.  This BEACH may seem a little chaotic to visitors because EVERYONE is in charge.  Visiting Neigbours from the SEVEN BEACH have found a way to harness their adventurousness and have taken charge.  NINEs from the neigbouring Peacemaker BEACH are taking up their own causes.  The Stress Ferry brings TWO’s into their bossy Red Zone and the Growth Ferry brings thoughtful FIVEs to their Green Zone, with a purpose, moving toward their higher quality of understanding.  EIGHTs enjoy the power and control on their home BEACH in their Yellow Zone where the sun shines on command.

The NINE BEACH is, in a word, peaceful.  It is the centre of the Active Present Harbour but you might not notice much action.  People are careful not to disturb the peace.  Harmony and unity are key values here.  It might look like a 1960’s Love In.  Neigbours from the EIGHT and ONE BEACHs love to visit to gain the energy and support they need when they return to their more active BEACHs.  The Stress Ferry brings THREEs into their Red Zone are lethargic and need to find unity and a sense of peacefulness before they can return to their Performer selves.  The Growth Ferry brings the SIXs on a journey toward their higher selves in the Green Zone.  They find acceptance and a sense of inner peace on this serene BEACH.  The Yellow Zone NINEs are happy, content to let the sunshine in and have everyone smile on this their native BEACH.

Learn the significance

Why is knowing about the BEACHs and the cultures and languages on the beaches important for PULSE practitioners?  As a PULSE Practitioner it becomes important to understand and recognize the differences between the languages.  A PULSE Practitioner is an interpreter.  They facilitate the understanding between the parties. In the Red Zone parties may be speaking different languages or acting in ways inconsistent with the culture and language of their Yellow Zone home BEACH.  The Practitioner knows the languages and the dialects of all of the BEACHs.  Parties may not be familiar with the ‘foreign’ language and be misinterpreting intention or motivation for what is being said.  Knowing who is on a BEACH and why is important if criteria for resolution are to be identified. The paths indicated in Chart 1 show the path for the journey that people are on and by identify who is on which BEACH practitioners can observe what needs need to be met before parties can shift to the next zone and move closer to resolution of the circumstance, to their Green Zones of integration.

What I see happening with PULSE is that people travel their life paths in one structured conversation.  I watch as I move through the Prepare piece and can identify rather quickly which Harbour they are in; the Thoughtful Future, The Active Present or the Emotional Past.  The start in their disintegrated Red Zone in the Uncover as they Uncover their story.  Language is important here and will indicate the BEACH of disintegrated Red Zone that people are on.  They will need to satisfy and have acknowledged that BEACH before the Ferry can take them to the next BEACH.  In Learn I watch the Ferry move from the Red Zone into the Yellow Zone where they become more comfortable with themselves and with the situation, seeing it in a new light.  In the Yellow Zone they are able to articulate their own criteria for a better future.  The PULSE practitioner/interpreter will recognize the languages of the 9 BEACHs here and  capture them so that everyone sees the unique and common aspects of everyone’s BEACHs.  Then in Search the Ferry moves on to the Green Zone of Growth and integration and the person seems transformed.  From my perspective, parties come to the meeting as one person and seem to leave as a different person and before I knew about Enneagram I could not explain the transition, the transformation that occurred.  Now I see clearly the path of the Ferries and I know that if the Ferries are guided by the PULSE Protocol of Gentle, Honest, Open, Specific Talks then the chances are better for a peaceful crossing.

Awareness of the subtle differences that indicate the BEACH of origin of the parties is the first step to creating a safe environment for discovery in the conversations.

Search the possibilities

How can Enneagram and PULSE Practitioners and Professionals use the knowledge of the BEACHs and their cultures and language to guide and structure conversations?  There are many exciting ways for people to use their knowledge of Enneagram to help others.  For me, I see that conversations leaders, whether they be coaches or mediators or negotiators or counselors, can be more efficient and more respectful and aware of the differences their parties present at different stages of the conversation.  Enneagram teaches us to value what we are not.  Using the Enneagram to guide conversations has the potential to teach clients to value differences as strength.  The possibility is that conversation professionals will use PULSE and the Enneagram to integrate the Enneagram wisdom into everyday conversations.

Explain the plan

So as a PULSE Practitioner and Professional and as an Enneagram Professional, I agree to use the BEACH metaphor to help people understand the different stances and perspectives that people bring with them as they enter into conversations and the changes that occur as they move through the conversation frame. I ask that you do the same.  Let me know what your thoughts, actions and responses are to the ideas presented here.  Recently I was reminded of the Army adage “DO, KNOW,BE”.  I could immediately see that Body people Do, Head people Know and Heart People just ARE.  I am interested in knowing how using this metaphor will change how you “DO KNOW BE” in the world.  Remember the marble.  Each one is unique and yet each holds the elements, the colours that make up the PULSE Enneagram and every client you will encounter is like the marble. With the MARBLE we have Marvelous, Abundant Relationships Built on Learning the Enneagram.  I apologize but I could not resist giving you just one more acronym.  Enjoy.

Dr. Nancy Love

Native of the SEVEN BEACH

www.pulseinstitute.com