Blog post

Waiting on the World to Change

Sometimes you have to wait. I have seen a couple of bill boards around Edmonton with a small boy looking forlorn. The caption is just ‘WAITING’ I think I know how he feels. Waiting for spring in Alberta …. waiting for the Oilers to final get the right combination of personnel to WIN …. waiting for the penny to drop … waiting for the PC’s to get defeated …. waiting for this cold or allergy attack I have suffered with for the past two weeks to leave me alone.

We have all spent time waiting. The trick is to make that time count in other ways especially when you have no control over the speed of progress or lack of it that you are experiencing. I found myself speaking very forcefully to a couple of people this week to MOVE THINGS ALONG. It worked on one and not on the other. So I go back to doing what I can when I can and setting the rest aside for another day.

The list of postponed due to others list is almost as long as the procrastination list for me. Keeping it all in my head is always fun. Sometimes I wait because I have to and sometimes I wait because I want to. So I guess waiting is not all bad. I don’t want to keep others waiting. I do my best to be a great ‘replier’ although this month the minutes of the board that I am secretary for were late because I was ‘down’ with what ever I have.

Sometimes it just can’t be helped. i get that and I do my best to be patient with others …. until I am not. Then look out. No telling what could happen next. I may be little but I am not afraid of confrontation and sometimes that is what it takes to get over a hurdle. I would say that is true especially when you are dealing with a bureaucracy or a passive aggressive personality.

In mediation patience and waiting for answers is considered a good thing. It even has its own acrostic. “Why Am I Talking”. I’m usually quite a good waiter, not as in server but as in good at waiting. MY rope is long but once I reach the end of it I tend to take no prisoners. It’s a rare occasion when I am anything but calm and measured in my response to things. Everyone needs patience but when it gets in the way of getting important projects accomplished its time to consider alternatives to waiting … whatever they may be.

Any way I took my own advice. While I am waiting I am writing about it so as not to completely waste this valuable time. Now I will go practice my new piano piece and get my costume ready for my dance competition next weekend. Distraction … it works for a while. Try it the next time you find yourself waiting.

Aging

Sometimes I sit down to write a blog and the topic is there with me ready to go. Today it is not. The Muses have been playing with me lately. They must know that I have nothing on my agenda for today and was hoping to be inspired and finish editing a chapter or two in the “Mapping the Space” book. But first I must find the Muses.

My body and my mind seem to be running slow today. I might be a 6 on the Sharp scale, a 6 or 7 on the Happy scale, and about the same on the Independent scale even though I have the day to myself to decide what to do. The Fit scale ought to be higher. I did tap dancing Monday evening and Yoga yesterday morning. Truth is I feel stiff and sore and kind of dull. So a 5 on the Fit scale. The Trusting scale is still higher – 8 or 9. I do believe the world is unfolding as it should. SHIFT is happening just at a slower pace these days.

I have been reading the “French Women Don’t …” series of books and enjoying the notes on aging gacefully and staying healthy as we age. Over this past year there seems to be this obvious perhaps culturally motvated choice in front of me. I can either give up the work and “enjoy” life or I can continue to work and miss the exciting moments that I get to spend with my family when my schedule reads “available” and someone needs a hand. More and more people my age are questioning that either/or thinking and opting for both.

Mireille Guiliano, the author of “French Women Don’t …” talks about four anchors. For her, good health, a social network, employment as well as time and commitment to your own needs are the four things that keep her going and aging with style and attitude. I can see how these four fit nicely with the SHIFT measures of well being … a Sharp Mind, a Happy Heart, an Independent Spirit, a Fit Body and a Trusting Soul.

I was struck by the idea that employment is important and I understand that completely. You really do need something to do that you enjoy and accomplishments that you are proud of as you move through life at any age. Giving that up seems counter productive even if the money doesn’t seem as important. People need to feel needed and appreciated. They need a sense of contribution and connection to community. Some find new careers or volunteer. Without it we put our mental, relational, physical, emotional and even spiritual well being at risk.

I will always be engaged in writing and other projects that interest me and keep me moving. These projects serve my need for employment. There is always lots to do and learn. Now that curling season is coming to an end I have rediscovered Yoga. There is a studio or two that are even closer than the curling rink in my walkable neighbourhood. Both serve my good health and social network needs. My family and friends are wonderful. They keep me socially engaged and ’employed’ if you can take that to mean ‘busy’. As for time for my own needs …. I have all day today to tend to those.

Take good care. I plan to. That way I will not only age gracefully but fiercely and with wild abandon the way I have always aged since I was a child. Aging is not an option if you want to stick around and see what happens next. How you age is up to you. SHIFT and enjoy.

PULSE – A Gentle Reminder

Last week I had a chance to help some people come to agreement on a long-standing issue. It’s always satisfying when you can see what’s in the way and help them move around or through or over or under what ever that is. It made me realize a couple of things about practice and mastery and how reading people is essential in this business. It is not just about reading people and identifying their criteria for resolution but also ready what behaviours are infuriating or frustrating the other people in the room. So you watch EVERYBODY and you notice your own responses and you name it. The naming part takes courage but it is really all you have to do. Finding a gentle way to tell someone that their behaviour is not helping can be tricky but well worth the mental effort it takes to cushion the words and use language you are confident they will understand. When you do SHIFT happens.

I was reminded that the PULSE Frame is very effective. It is part of my MO now in most situations and in a high conflict one the elements are more obvious and their strong grounding in theory makes them very dependable. Prepare for the conversation. Then Uncover what they have come to resolve today. Then Learn why its important to them, their criteria for resolution. Then Search possibilities that could resolve the situation and meet the shared and individual criteria. Then write a plan of action that contains detailed items that are within their authority and will be shared with those who are involved in its implementation. Introducing the process at the beginning … the process, purpose and protocol … and wrapping it up at the end are also important to give everyone confidence in the outcome.

SHARP as a Marble

Just a brief note today on the importance of measuring your wellbeing from time to time. How well are you feeling on each of the five intelligence measures?

Intellectually are you feeling SHARP? What is your sense of whether or not your mind is working at capacity today?

Emotionally are you feeling HAPPY? What emotions are you aware of and how light or heavy is your heart today?

Relationally are you feeling INDEPENDENT? What level of control do you sense with your relationships today?

Physically are you feeling FIT? What is your sense of your level of health and fitness today?

Spiritually are you feeling TRUSTING? What sense do you have that you can trust others and the universe today?

Keep this list on your fingers and remind yourself to check in from time to time. If you are feeling low in one measure and higher in another focus on what you can do from the higher measure to help increase the lower one.

Take Good Care.

A Whale of a Party

Donna and I went on a Whale Watching sail the other day. We left the bay at around 3:00 in the afternoon and motored north. The Biologist on board, Jeff, was great. He had all the facts about whales and their lives. He answered all of the questions we had and then we began to see the wonderful creatures.

Words cannot describe the feeling you get when a whale shows you his tail. It is somewhere between gratitude and excitement, awe and appreciation. The animals we saw where gigantic. We were lucky enough to witness around 20 whales at the surface. Spouts all around us but in particular two whales traveling together gave us quite a show. They would surface and show their tails for a while and then disappear.

The crew would begin calling them and encouraged us to do the same. Suddenly they appeared at the back of the boat about 20 yards off the stern, showed their backs and then their tails in turn. MAGNIFICENT and a little scary. They were way bigger than the boat.

We were all smiles and joy. The crew said it was the best experience they had had for a long time and they were all feeling like we had our money’s worth when our whales suddenly reappeared at the front of the boat. Could have been two different whales but the tails, which are like fingerprints, looked very much the same. Again they passed so close to the boat you felt you could reach out and touch them. Even the crew were high fiving each other.

What an experience!!

It was a magical time. The crew was excellent. Our fellow travelers were appropriately impressed and the whales were accomodating. They answered the call and they stayed and partied with us. You almost wanted to invite them aboard for one of the delicious Maitais.

Here comes the sun ….

If you are of a certain age you automatically sing “do do do do” after you hear “Here Comes the Sun” and “I say…It’s alright.”

The old Beatles classic is a great tune with wonderful lyrics. I was actually working out yesterday with my phone plugged into my ears and my music on when I heard it again for the first time. It felt like home and in this very sunny place it felt like the right song to sing. Lines like “The ice is slowly melting” could mean getting out of the cold or it could mean that you are thawing out after a long time protecting yourself … like in the movie Frozen.

It was a powerful reminder of the power of music in my life and the wonderful emotions that can be triggered by a song. Tears came to my eyes as I felt the meaning of the song. Things are looking up. They are getting better. The sun is coming out and it is alright.

Of course that song was followed by “Fool on the Hill” and I wondered what meaning I should take from that as I stood on a hill looking out over the rolling hills of the Big Island. Keep humble!!

Aloha … I am LOVE

I saw a hoody yesterday at a store here on the Big Island of Hawaii that said “I am LOVE” on the back of it. Unfortunately they didn’t have my size or I would be walking around with my name advertised on my back in big bold letters. I am Love and I do love aloha.

Being back here in January is great. It is beautiful. I am looking out onto a golf course with Cook Pines and BIG wild turkeys and Nene geese that look a lot like Canada geese everywhere. Yesterday the male turkeys put on a fantastic show for us and the hens were chasing each other around. I am not sure what that was about but it looked like they all turned on one for some reason.

Yesterday we drove up to the north shore where the small town of HAWI is. It was about an hour and a half loop and on the way back we were climbing for about 15 miles through ranch land with cattle and horses to a summit of 3456 feet Then the road descended rather rapidly over a five mile stretch back to the town of Waimea. The sun was setting and from that elevation it was quite a show. The VOG in the air from the volcano turned the sun into a red ball in the sky that hung over the rugged lava flows of years gone by. It was other worldly.

I might have to actually turn on the TV and see what’s going on with the volcano. It is hazy already this morning. This is the same volcano, Kilauea, who chased away the hurricanes this summer when I was here with the girls. Two hurricanes and two earth quakes in one week and it didn’t seem to faze anyone. After all we were still in paradise.

What makes this island so special is the diversity. From the volcano in the south and cattle ranching in the north, white and black sand beaches and moonscapes where the lava from old eruptions cover the earth. The snow on the top of Mauna Kea, which means white mountain in Hawaiian, has ski runs on it which we could see from our vantage point on the west coast yesterday and yet it was 27 degrees where we were.

The sun is shining and it promises to be another warm sunny day. Take care everyone.

Aloha from Waikaloa

I am back in Hawaii. I love it here. The weather is perfect. The food is good. Everything is good. It is truly paradise.

I figured out that I have been coming here at least once a year since 2003. In fact I was here a year ago and in August this year. It is not my second home but I am becoming quite familiar with all there is to know about the Big Island. Tonight we were at Roy’s for dinner. Wow. Always excellent food and great service.

WE also took a drive to HAWI at the north end of the island and drove back over the mountain through Parker Ranch territory. A little adventure to keep things interesting is often necessary. WE shopped at my favourite store … Tommy Bahamas and spent sometime at the pool.. All in all a great day.

Happy New Year

In one hour it will be 2015. Happy New Years everyone.

There is a song on the radio these days that has a line I love…”Every new beginning was an old beginning’s end.”

Here’s to new beginnings, to new places and people to get to know and here’s to ends as well. Endings are difficult. Although we sometimes say ” I thought it would never end!” or “Is it over yet?” we all know that the end of something signals sadness, regret perhaps as well as possible celebration. It signals the beginning of something else. Change is what happenings while you are waiting.

I can’t even really write about 2014. It was difficult for me. There was sadness and some regret. Starting over can be exciting I guess but it is never easy. Will 2015 be better? I certainly hope so. I hope to spend more time with family … starting tomorrow. I hope to complete some projects that got set aside in 2014. I hope to make new friends and reconnect with old ones. I hope to travel and visit new places and familiar ones. I hope to balance alone time with together time and spend most of my time Happy, Healthy, Grounded, Positive and enjoying life.

I wish the same for you … a year to remember. May you have endings and beginnings that are well timed and that work for you. May your dreams come true and your life be good, beautiful and truthful.