As you may have noticed we are travelling along the Life Scale that Warren Redman uses in hisbook Emotionsl Fitness.  Warren and I have been working together on a plot to overtake the coaching world.  more about that later.  For now I would like to explore the PULSE perspective on the next tow pairs of words on the Life Scale… Place and Prejudice.

How much do I feel like I am in the right place?  Reading this question a couple of weeks ago moved me to action.  Since then I have reorganized and decorated many rooms in my house.  I have begun again to take charge and control over my immediate environment.  I travel a lot as most of you know so home had become where I come to repack my suitcase.  Over these two weeks I have been leaving my mark and paying attention to my home, my PLACE.

I am confident that that is not the only thing that Warren is asking about.  My physical PLACE is just that … a physical place.  For me it needs to be functional and comfortable and beautiful.  Am I also in the right Emotional PLACE?  The question also motivates toward seeking a more functional, comfortable and beautiful place emotionally and intellectually.  Head, heart, body – in the right place at the right time doing the right thing.  Affecting one, affects all.  There is an integration that occurs when you least expect it.  Having sorted my PLACE I do feel confident that I am in the right place, on I have created for myself.

Prejudices – hmmmm.  How much prejudice do I feel against me?  That question brings up STUFF for me.  I also see the opportunity to use my sense of place to overcome my experience of prejudice.  i don’t want to dwell in it.  I want to change it.  Prejudice can motivate or deflate.  Just reading the word shifted my state from feeling great about my place to feeling more uncertain and less confident.  I choose to set that aside and go with my strengths and the things I can control.  Moving from my right PLACE to my next right PLACE with PULSE.

ON Warren Redman’s Life Scale.  Purpose and problems are the presented as the ying an dyang or positive and negative sides of the same coin.  It is an interesting problem… or purpose… to distinquish the two and then pair them for consideration.

On a scale of 0-20 what is your purpose score?  How purposeful are you?  How much does a sense of purpose figure in your life and its decisions?  For me I would set my score at 18 or 19.  What that means is that at the moment I am full of purpose.  I am working toward something.  I am building a business that I hope will out live me.

ON a scale of 0-20 what is your problem score?  How riddled with problems is your life and how much of your life is spent on dealing with problems?  For me I would set my score at 18-19.  What that means to me is that I spend a lot of time dealing with the problems, the things that are in the way between me and my purpose.  I don’t feel that that is a bad thing though.  If I wasn’t dealing with the problems I wouldn’t be moving toward my purpose.

So you need both in your life.  No purpose leads to no problems and no problems can result from an unclear purpose.  That’s the negative side of this equation.  Positively speaking is you have a high sense of purpose then you may not consider the challenges that stand between you and the goal as problems put as opportunities to move a step closer.  It comes down to perspective and semantics.

Purpose is good.  It motivates.  Problems also motivate.   WOW … Looks like my rose coloured glasses are working well this morning.  Happy day.  Live with purpose and love your problems.  They are a sign that you are on the right road.

What do purpose and problems mean to you?  What are your scores?

It is interesting how we focus on the rule and not the exception.  Often it is the exception that will teach us the most.  That is what Appreciative Inquiry is about for me.  It is a search for the exceptions to the overwehlming focus on teh negative.  When you ask “Where is this solved?” you get new information and new approaches.  I have been asking myself this week…”When is life NOT a chore?”  “When I am happy and worry free?”  Myself and I are talking about focusing our attention on the positive in our life and creating more of that.  …. I think it is working!!!!

One exception for me is when I read old blogs and think … “that is something I would enjoy reading if I were someone else.”  That encourages me to keep going, to write and write until something profound finds its way on to the page.  I like to write and to share my thoughts on the screen or in my journal.  For me it is a comfortable way to process and move from the past to the future with deliberate intent to do my best. 

I am reminded of the Four Agreements (RUIZ) , some of which I will reframe here.  Always do your best: I think doing your best is all you can ever expect of yourself.  Dutiful 1, 2 and 6 BEACHs are often hard on themselves and others.  As long as you have been conscious and deliberate in your attempts to arrive at what ever destination or dream you are chasing then you can look yourself in the mirror and smile.

Be impeccable with your word – To me that means “Say what you mean and mean what you say.”  It is the beuatiful combination and balance of the Gentle and HOnest pieces int eh GHOST protocol.  If you are only gentle and not honest you are not impeccable.  If you are honest and not genlte you are not impeccable.  Be impeccable with your word.

Check Assumptions – If you have a “leemer” – which is the name for he nagging instinct that tells you that something is not right before you know that somethings not right – if you have a “leemer” then check it out.  Ask!

Get Curious – It is not about you – that is my version of what Ruiz identifies as “Don’t take anything personally”.  In my quest for postiive reframes I have some to understand the intention of that Agreement is to be emotionally mature – to detach with out disengaging.

The rule is be good to yourself and treat others the way they would like to be treated.  It is often referred to as the platinum rule.  We have accepted it as one of the PULSE Rules.  The four agreements are also congruent with PULSE thinking, doing and feeling.  They provide another foundation for this appreciative work.  Look for what works and do more of that……  that’s the rule.

I have been thinking about blogs and writing and how important it is to me and to many people who release, relax and relate to their world through writing.  It is the creative  “in the zone” feeling you get when things are going well that brings you back to the writing.  It is the hard work of organizing thoughts and topics, arguments and ideas into coherent strings of meaning that keeps you away.  Sometime it just seems like too much work to organizae thoughts in a way that would mean something to someone else.  Better just to keep them to yourself.

Maybe … maybe not. Sometimes keeping things to yourself menas that no one understands your thoughts, not even you.  Taking the time to be with and separate your ideas into words and sentences, organizes then in a way that is helpful for others and is essential for you.  How else would you begin to build confidence and trust in yourself as a thinker, a knower, a doer, a feeler … as a human.

Words create worlds.  By giving words and voice to your thoughts you build understanding and you build the frame for the future.  How do you describe what has happened to you in the past?  How do you understand what is happening now?  How do you predict the future?  Your stance or perch will determine your choice of vocabulary with which you build your world.  Positive stance = positive words = positive world.

It seems like a simply formula. “Control your thoughts” is an old Chinese proverb which goes on to say “thoughts become ideas, ideas become words, words become actions, actions become habits and habits are hard to break so control your thoughts”.  It seems a little counterintuitive to encourage creativity through control.  Any artist will tell you about the need for discipline in order to achieve greatness.  So create with control.  All things in balance.  Control your thoughts.

Remember when you first saw that 1970’s poster?  It had a profound effect on me.  I was youngish and hadn’t quite come to the realization that I was in fact vincible, that life would at some point end.  I had limited time and I should use it wisely.  That’s what I learned from the poster.  Each day since has meant a lot to me.  Sometimes I feel guilty when I have a day when I don’t contribute in some way to others and the world.

This week I was working with a great group of people.  It was an advanced program so everyone was familiar with me and PULSE.  It was so much fun just to play with the concepts and watch as the light bulbs lite.  It is satisfying to me to think that people go away from the courses we teach with a new appreciation for appreciation and that they spread that into their own worlds.

This week I have also been distracted by a number of issues that seem to weigh alot.  It always demonstrates the need for balance when you can contrast what uplifts you and makes you feel better with what weighs on your mind.  For me both are always about helping people.  If I can’t help, or if helping others provides such a burden to me that I can’t sustain my own balance, I become confused and reflective, pensive and withdrawn and I truly don’t know what to do.

When I know what should happen and have no power to wield my “should ” wand to make everyone see things my way, I get moody and defensive, and begin to wonder why everyone doesn’t know what I am thinking.  I am screaming in my head so they MUST be able to hear it.  And yet I can’t find the gentle, honest, open, specific talk, the words that I need to MAKE them understand the errors of their ways.  Sound familiar????

When what I do helps others I feel good.  I feel as if this day, the first day of the rest of my life, has value and adds meaning to life, the universe and everything. “Say what you need to say” and move on.  Change the world through conversations and appreciate the value in the difficult conversations.  Mutually agreeable, balanced outcome.  Give and take in balance is the key.

In my Ripley’s Believe it or Not Journal this morning was a tidbit of information about Tuesday’s.  Apparently Tuesday is by far the most productive day of the week.  Tuesday’s has always been special for me and my friends becauseit is the day that we get together for dinner each week.  It has become a lovely tradition to meet at our local restaurant and catch up with each others lives.  There are a core of five of us but others join from time to time.  They join for a reason or a season and then they move on.

Tuesday’s is a day that shows up in songs and book and movie titles from time to time.  Ruby Tuesday, If this is Belgium it must be Tuesday, Tuesday’s with Morrie. etc.  Tuesday’s child who is full of grace.  Tuesday is a great day and today is a lovely Tuesday here in Calgary.  It is a warm fall day with lots of sunshine and an optimism in the air about life and winter, which we all know is close.

I have been working to support my local candidate in this election.  I am discouraged, not by the campaign or the usual rhetoric, but by the apparent lack of interest by the voting public.  It is another conversation where one of the parties is not listening.  Candidates are working hard to have their voices heard and they are talking into no one listening.  Voters have either made up their mind at birth and cannot hear the arguments for changing it or they just don’t care.

Here in Alberta, even after 35 years as a resident of this great province, I continue to be amazed at the sheep like voting patterns that change very little from election to election no matter what is going on on the political scene.  There is no accountability for the elected members of parliament in this city and they know it.  They are not even campaigning here because they are assured of a win even without a campaign.

Loyalty is good.  I don’t knock people who remain loyal despite the obvious need for change.  My hope is that they will work to change things from the inside.  Misplaced loyalty or compliance out of apathy bothers me.  People should know who they are electing and for what purpose.  My should wand is clear on this.  Voting should be informed, well informed and if after weighing the choices people choose to reward a non performer with another chance then so be it.  The people have chosen.

It is heartbreaking to know that someone as dedicated and intelligent as my candidate cannot defeat a shadow of a man who doesn’t even show up to campaign, who thumbs his nose at his constituents, who cannot hold a candle to her on so many important fronts.  She is fighting shadows and ghosts, the ghosts of other politicians and their decisions of times past and the shadows of leadership from Ottawa.  She is not allowed to fight the real fight here in the constituency, where, “man to man”, she is the best choice.

I saw a lawn sign the other day.  It said “Just Vote Damn It”.  I agree.  Especially those of us who only earned the right through bloody protests in the 1920’s ought to be sure and vote.  Good luck and thank you for all who choose to run for poliical office.  You have already made a difference. On Tuesday the 15th we will know who was listening and who was not.