It has been too long again since I wrote a blog post. I just haven’t been sure what to write about. There are so many thoughts and emotions associated with this last month that I don’t think I have sorted them out yet.
This morning I presented a webinar on questions and the purpose, process, protocol of asking questions in a deliberate way to build understanding. I talked about how important curiousity is to building shared knowledge and relationship. It is so true. Sometimes it is hard to “get over yourself”and work on being curious. Sometimes you just want someone to be curious about you and your life.
I think that it is particularly true for those of us who live alone. We don’t have a Witness to our lives. We don’t have a SOMEONE who knows how we spend our days and what relationships we juggle. Maybe that is where the difficulty lies. As the song says “Nobody Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen.” Friends are so important when you don’t have a SOMEONE who lives in your house and shares their life with you. I am grateful for my friends.
Back to the topic of aging … Sixty is a turning point. I’ll list some of the reasons here..
- Your future is shorter than your past.
- Your body is telling you to slow down and letting you know your new limitations
- Your status in the world of work changes because you may not be around for the medium term let alone the long term.
- Ambition shifts and is often given a harsh reality check when you realize people may no longer be interested in what you have to offer.
- Even though you have kept up with technological changes you begin to see how futile that work is because it is always changing.
- As Grace says on the Grace and Frankie show on Netflix …”Why would I want to make new friends when by the time we make a history together we will be history.”(I’m paraphrasing)
Aging is not for sissies. It takes courage and stamina to stay with it. My Dad has had a very hard time lately. Yesterday when the nurse suggested going outside in the wheel chair and checking out his surroundings he asked “What’s the point?” It’s a great question. It deserves a very considered answer and I think it is different for every one. Dad’s nurse suggested because it would make him feel better. That was enough for him. We did go for the roll outside and I think he did feel better.
As our parents age we get a pretty good look at what we have to look forward to and it isn’t always pretty. It seems that in your fifties you are still moving up and away. Once you turn sixty it’s different somehow. It levels out and you see the steep roll down the other side. I don’t think it is OVER or anything… I just think we readjust our expectations. We move toward retirement to find new adventures and new challenges … or NOT. We work hard to maintain physical, mental, emotional and relational prowess … or not. We have choices … or not.
The key is to set goals and attain them and then set new goals. My mother taught me that. “You need something to look forward to” she would say “Otherwise, what’s the point.”